Violence and Women!

All of us have heard a very common saying - Behind every successful man, there is a woman, but do all of us believe it too? Going by the prevalent cruelties towards girls and women, the answer is an unfortunate No!

The value of women in India has been subject to great changes since the ancient times. From the Vedic Philosophers, sharing equal status with men, to the drops experienced during the medieval period, to the modern period of reformers like Kiran Bedi, the journey of women over the past few millennia has been very eventful.

Talking of the present scenario, there is no doubt that women today walk hand in hand with men in every field of life and have also held offices as high as that of the President, the Prime Minister, speaker of Lok Sabha and also the leader of the opposition in the Lok Sabha.  However, if you look at the other side of this coin, you will find that the word darkness has found an all new meaning. Women continue to face atrocities such as female feticide, rapes, acid throwing, dowry killings, young girls being forced into prostitution and the situation is only going from bad to worse. Of late, the graph of the brutal rape cases in public areas has drastically gone up. It is being reported that India is the most dangerous country to live in for women among the G20 countries. Isn’t this downright outrageous?

It is the mindset of the people that needs a major change. We live in a deeply misogynistic society, a society where girls are killed before they are born, a society where they say may you be the mother of a hundred sons. The celebrations are still bigger when a son is born than when a daughter is born. Girls are still widely regarded as a burden to many Indian families who fear the high costs of their weddings and resent spending money on their education only for them to later leave home to marry. They are, in fact, ill treated. Many rural families find it difficult to manage without at least one boy and this, in turn, leads to an increase in the number of female feticide cases. The widespread discrimination against girls ranges from neglect to abuse and killing of unwanted female infants.

A selfless mother, a caring sister, a loving daughter, a supportive wife, a loyal friend, a woman is all this and more. Yet looked down upon, she has to worry about her safety every moment. Ever thought what a girl feels when she hears about a new rape case almost every day or reads about 93 dowry deaths in just 4 months?  Ever tried asking a girl what goes on her mind when she, unwilling, has to travel alone at night? She doesn’t let it show, but deep down inside she is apprehensive.

“Mom, I never tell you, but this dreadful night frightens me

This world is giving birth to brutal monsters, I feel unsafe

My work is over, but it’ll be 10 p.m. by the time I reach my place

I am on my own, come and hide me with your warm embrace

Dad, there are challenging hurdles to be faced at every step

So many issues; no reason, no mistake, expect I am a girl

I feel the safest when I hold your finger and walk like a kid

I wish I could stay under your protective shelter forever”

How easy it is for the people to dictate a Do’s and Don’ts list to girls, how easy it is to blame it on girls’ lifestyle when one of them, unfortunately, has to deal with a nightmarish horror. The issue of brutal assaults never got national attention until the 16^th December, 2012 Delhi gang-rape case which led to an outrage and outpouring of anger in the country. People expected some major systemic changes, but, history repeated itself. Headlines faded as they always do, public anger diminished to some extent and an accused, the so-called juvenile, is still roaming free. As a result, even after so many months, we see no significant change in the situation of women. Despite the protests, there is a rape happening every 22 minutes with a system that’s non reactive; the Mumbai gang-rape case being the latest. What is the solution? Who can take the initiative? The answer, maybe, is a woman reformer like Kiran Bedi, who stands out when it comes to accepting the shortcomings of a system, and takes the responsibility of doing whatever it demands to bring about a change in the existing system.

Dr. Kiran Bedi is India’s first and highest ranking woman police officer who joined the Indian Police Service in 1972. Blessed with a long, highly accomplished career and a loving family, she was voted the most admired woman in India in 2002. She has the foresight to think what is possible and stretches it further to drive it’s always possible! She is tough and uncompromising from one perspective and compassionate and caring from the other. Till today, most admire and love her; the corrupt fear, despise and hate her; and the wise, support her. Her transparency and straightforward attitude comes in the way of many. However, combined with her compassion and the drive to pursue the right path for a bigger and higher purpose, her attitude becomes her most powerful strength, to the extent that even the toughest kind of hurdles cannot stop her.

In 2007, she took a voluntary retirement to pursue her commitment to the education of underprivileged children and women, drug abuse rehabilitation and rural reform and continues her journey of social reform as a founder of two NGOs, Navjyoti and India Vision Foundation. She is one person in power who agreed with the crowd and said that the 16th December gang rape could have been prevented if the daily homework of crime prevention was done by the cops. In fact, she did take steps to help change things in Delhi police. Among many traffic super cops, Dr. Kiran Bedi is single handedly responsible for bringing safety and discipline in the public transport system in terms of treatment of women travelling in the buses. Because of the discipline introduced by her, travel in DTC (Delhi Transport Corporation) buses became much safer for women commuters. Her bold actions came at a cost to her career and her family. Despite that she would treat all equal and not spare a wrong doer just because he or she held a VIP status or was affiliated with a VIP family.

If we go back in time, we will see that women themselves were Rishis of the Rig-Veda. There were no harmful restrictions, no attempt to keep them secluded, uneducated or debarred from their legitimate place in the society. The ceremony of marriage was an appropriate one, the custom of child marriage was then, unknown. Thus, the real solution to today’s problem is that we need to learn what we were forced to forget. Moreover, the present scenario needs more reformers like Dr. Kiran Bedi, who will do the much required task of reminding the monsters, the importance of women and what life would be without them. Also, a little effort needs to be put in by all the mothers of our country because, it is not just how you bring up your daughters but also about how you bring up your sons that can make the difference. Women, most importantly, need to pledge that they will stop covering and shrouding any issue in silence. What ever wrong happens, it is an issue to talk about. Being a female citizen of a democratic country, I would like to ask that why we, the women of this country, should need to be scared or vulnerable? Why can’t we go out when we like, where we like and dressed, as we like?

At the end, let’s remember a part of Kaifi Azmi’s poem Aurat -

“tu haqiqat bhi hai dilchasp kahaani hi nahi

teri hasti bhi hai ik chiz javaani hi nahi
apni tarrikh kaa unvaan badalnaa hai tujhe

uth meri jaan mere saath hi chalnaa hai tujhe”